As a woman, I get that, but if you want a successful relationship, you better start figuring out the coping method your guy uses. I like criticism. Its one thing if your husband is trying to help you with something, but its another thing entirely if he refuses to take responsibility for what he did or said. WebIf he's truly regretting his mistake and realizing your worth and love now, he won't just simply act like a victim. January 10, 2023, 11:40 am, by Some clinicians think that people can grow out of it as they age due to societal pressures on people to conform and "be nice". And when you have your own opinions, he shuts them down because he cant stand the fact that you possess the ability to critically think for yourself. The sad truth is that guys who pretend to be nice can only keep up the facade for so long. But if it feels like he frequently questions you in a nonconstructive way, its one of those arrogant boyfriend signs that should have you running for the hills. But his naively innocent and responsibility dodging attitude set off some serious alarm bells for me. Say it in a sincere, positive fashion. WebIn other words, someone who tends to be argumentative when hes sober may be more likely to pick a fight when hes drunk. You may not know their true intentions. Maybe youre married to a guy whos like that most of the time. The truth is, he doesnt want to take responsibility for his actions or words because he wants you to be dependent on him and not have any self-respect. After all, sometimes when were doing something wrong, we dont actually know were doing it. So now its time, to be honest, and clear with your husband. You dont have to put up with an asshole husband. In addition, he blames his rage on you or others. To avoid another broken heart caused by dating insecure men, here are 15 signs of insecurity to watch out for. It just feels like he hates you and the smallest inconveniences set him off. WebRespect Your Spouse: This is critical, you have to respect your spouse for who they are as a person, and accept the fact that you are two different people who may have disagreements. Remember, if your relationship is to continue and most importantly, grow, then you need to have a productive discussion that addresses the real conflict. WebRelationships. Youve decided to share your life together, and that means sharing very single facet. He is a best-selling author and dispenses valuable advice on his extremely popular YouTube channel. Obviously, nobody is perfect, we all have bad days and can lose our cool. Hes acting like if yall make out, hell be powerless to stop himself from having sex with you lol. Then, it just became a disaster with Jen screaming as she left and her husband, Bill looking clearly embarrassed. Here are six reasons why you may have earned this title: 1. Youre the one who is always guilty for any negative event. If he finds it hard to accept you as you are and he regularly criticizes you for what he sees as faults, then you can bet your bottom dollar your husband is an asshole. We have a lot to cover so lets get started. Oh and if he says that he will do this as a favor for you, tell him that you dont consider it a favor as Its literally part of his responsibility as an adult. A kid can say No! and they will in the most snotty tone but that doesnt mean you have to obey or accept that answer. So, heres an explanation: this husband is out of control angry about one or more things, one of them is probably a lack of money, and he wants a hand with a bothersome project, after which he will likely return to his usual loving self and might even make amends for being such a jerk. . He'll try everything to prove he's changed. The Rocky Balboa Treatment. WebHe may be a jerk who is trying to change your appearance under the guise of generosity, says Hanks. This will increase your chances of losing your self-esteem. She and her husband Kendall live in Minnesota with their five children and their Black Lab, Largo. In fact, he might even have even started accusing you of cheating on him because he thinks that your phone is full of mens numbers. Or maybe he wants to make you feel good about yourself, so he compliments you on something that you did not do (such as cooking a nice meal for him). Talk about an inflated sense of self-importance! Its as if he tries to compete with you for victim status and attention. And that is never going to work in the long-run. It makes me feel loved. Look, if youve kids together and a house and a dog and what have you, then its obviously going to be difficult to leave them. This isnt 1925. If he wants you all to himself, tries to get you to cancel a night out with friends, or questions connections that you have with other men in your life it shouldnt be dismissed as just guy behaviour. When was the last time he listened to your problems carefully? I saw that he said that, but I never saw that he was. He reveals several practical things you can do today to improve the relationship you have with your husband. There is no talk or thought about how your partner shows signs of being in emotional turmoil. You will have a better chance of getting a response out of him if you call him a jerk, then ask him to make dinner. My husband is not a woman, WebIf your husband literally does nothing for your children, and hardly ever looks after them (or even communicates with them) then that is some A-grade asshole behavior. No matter how he behaves, I can be intentional about my behavior and my attitude. So, this article is for you! WebJerry West wants all the smoke he can take. Lets say your husband has asked you for a favor (such as helping him with something or giving him a hand), and you have agreed to help him. Jelena Dincic But if he is your dream man one day and your worst nightmare another, then dont kid yourself that you can iron out the kinks. Yes, one person might be more responsible, but pointing it out in that way just makes it seem petty like youre trying to win points. Making out can lead to sex, ofc, but thats a choice lol. Web4. You only see that he's a jerk who doesnt understand you. Sometimes we need a mentorsomeone who will show us how to be godly men, how to love our wives as Christ loves the church. Often it may be because being rude is their coping mechanism for dealing with their emotions. Or maybe you feel like the relationship has developed on his timeline, regardless of what you felt ready for or not. Does he struggle to take no for an answer, even for the little things like you not being in the mood to go to that party? Little does he know that you couldnt give a toss about that. As his wife, Im supposed to respect him, even if hes not a nice guy. To the waiter, to your friends and even to your family? And whenever something bad happens, he tries to make it 100% your fault. Im guessing that it will take time, but it will be well worth it. Does he talk badly about others behind their back? In fact, when you think about it from a males perspective, the mother is the most important female relationship that he has in his life, so its a surefire clue of whether your husband is really an asshole. Webchasingalaska 4 min. He has no outside friends or interests. Sometimes, instead of telling you how you can improve yourself, he criticizes you. But around 8 years ago I swapped the studio for a life on the open road. This is especially the case if he leaves a complete mess everywhere and refuses to clean up after himself. But ask yourself whether his thoughtfulness is made up entirely of lazy behaviours that require very little effort? Or maybe hell buy an expensive car for himself but refuses to give you anything even remotely similar? The bottom line is there is no cure for true narcissism. youre directed to respect him. If your husband literally does nothing for your children, and hardly ever looks after them (or even communicates with them) then that is some A-grade asshole behavior. Its easy to respect your husband if hes a nice guy. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. Does your husband go out and have big nights of spending with his buddies, but when you do the same with your gals, he kicks up a fuss? In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation. Its 2020. Maybe he never admits that he was the one who said something that hurt you. Recommended reading:Is my boyfriend ashamed of me? It makes you feel like he doesnt respect your mind and your body. You understand respect starts in your mind. Open Letter to Somali Moms: Run, Run as How False Accusations Can Put a Damper on How to Appropriately Defend Your Man Without Slapping Should Men Hold the Door? 1. Can a relationship survive living apart after living together? By Helen Fisher and Marcie Telander and Rhoberta Shaler, PhD and Ross Rosenberg and Melanie Gorman 24. Emily Yoffe. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers. We have one goal with this book: to help you mend your marriage. It doesnt mean its okay for him to be rude so you should just shut up and take it. Emotional abuse can fly under the radar for longer because we are usually quicker to explain it away or justify it. Or maybe your husband earns more than you and tells you about it all the time. Hes always asking you why you cant just use his phone. Hopefully, by now youve got a better idea of why your husband is being such a jerk and what to do about it. Its like the world is crashing down on you. Hes not perfect. Hes skirting his responsibilities and acting like an asshole to the wife he vowed he will love till death do us part. And this is something that men dont understand and cant accept. Put it in a place you can see it regularly. No doubt its tough but staying with an asshole cant be good for your long-term emotional health. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. But I also want to check theres nothing more to it? He screams at my daughter when she drops food or knocks over her cup. Dont be afraid to call this behaviour out. She went from the brink of divorce to having a thriving marriage by translating timeless truths into practical skills. But he wasnt actually anywhere near as nice as I thought, he was just emotionally repressed and incapable of conveying his needs and wants. In other words, they shut you out and don't seem to care how that hurts you. Because its this that will give you subtle clues as to whether its going to be a rare occurrence or a sign that he is not a nice guy. Theres a certain amount of trust that is essential when were dating. Admit you're a jerk already and move on to point number six. Men learn to treat women from the way their father and themselves treat their mother. Victimhood is so last season **rolls eyes**. If youre feeling that things arent on track with your marriage, I encourage you to act to turn things around now before matters get any worse. So don't mess your life again. It sounds very classic. Maybe youre married to a guy whos not occasionally like that. 2) Stop thinking in terms of who causes more issues in the relationship. Hiding his phone from you is a surefire sign that he is up to no good. If he simply refuses to do anything that you tell him, then you need to have a tough, honest talk with him. Its a fine line between eloquent elocutionist and blowhard. And thats indeed another sign of him being a jerk. I mean, I wrote for 'Rolling Stone' for a hot minute. And this is exactly how men try to control women. Hes probably blaming you for his friends divorce, his best friend moving away, and all the other bad things in his life. Acting defiant and always negotiating. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. Its one thing for him to be jealous of your phone but another thing entirely for him to invade your privacy. If he tries to make you feel bad when he doesnt have things his own way, then this is just manipulation. The strategies Brad reveals in this video are extremely powerful and might be the difference between a happy marriage and an unhappy divorce. WebNarcissists are people who suffered an abuse of some kind and are trying to get certain needs met later in life through the only means they know how. Husband, which means respect him no matter how you feel and even if hes a jerk. We carry the top lines in the industry. Maybe you want to hire a housecleaner and get out of the house more. ago. He might have even started to intimidate you by showing off his wealth, power, position, and success. Does he constantly try to control your behavior? Dismissing someone elses feelings, thoughts or opinions in a relationship is toxic, but at first, you may not always notice it happening. They dont trust you, and they think that if you have access to their phone, then they cant keep secrets from you. But if his words and actions dont make you feel secure, there are most likely genuine signs and signals that you are subconsciously picking up on. by When youre in a fully-fledged marriage, you dont just spend money and think thats enough. Also known as the Not So Excellent Wife, Sheila Qualls understands how tiring a tough marriage can be. But if youre still unsure of how to go about resolving your marriage issues, Id recommend checking out this excellent video by marriage expert Brad Browning. And because he has such difficulty in expressing himself, when his issues do come out, they often manifest in unhealthy ways. WebWhy does my diabetic husband act like an abusive jerk when hes hungry? Webchasingalaska 4 min. No matter who you are, a husband can always spare an hour out of his day to look after the children he committed to. It stinks, but when you get what respect is and what it isnt, its easier to respect a man whos a jerk. You cant expect him to respect you if he cant even respect his own mother. Spend some time for yourself. So in order to fix your husbands asshole behavior, here are some tips on how to have an honest and productive discussion. When you are looking for subtle signs that a nice guy might not be as nice as he first seems, his relationship history is going to give you some vital clues about the truth of his character. Ok, I totally understand. Then, it just became a disaster with Jen screaming as she left and her husband, Bill looking clearly embarrassed. Maybe its come out of nowhere and youre left scratching your head over why he is acting like a jerk all of a sudden. . The dictionary defines respect as considering someone of high regard.. Did you like my article? When youre around your husband, you cant help but feel alone because you know hes not thinking of you. Have you ever thought about the reason why hes not showing any appreciation? Hes completely self-centered, toxic, and doesnt care about anyones feelings but his own. Just ignore him. In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation. Your husband is probably blaming you for everything that goes wrong in his life. Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world. Nowadays, most women have a career. I think he didn't like that Adam was arguing with Wade and Candace Parker about their picks. This included Dolores, Teresa Giudice, and Its always someones else fault, isnt it? Look, in some way you can understand why some men believe that they should do nothing around the house. A guy who makes it tough to respect him because hes a jerk. No matter how fun or friendly he may seem, if he doesnt show any interest in sharing the limelight with you you may find you quickly become a supporting role in the me show. Meanwhile, he wouldnt have a second thought about going for beers with his friends after work on a Friday. Its not my husbands responsibility to earn my respect. But if your husband truly is an asshole, then its probably imperative that you do leave him to protect your own emotional health. In this article, Im going to go through 13 surefire signs that youre onto something in thinking that your husband is an asshole. Dave Portnoy. But stay alert for how much this shows up in him and the ways it presents itself. It sucks, but it can turn around (I talk about what to do later in the article). And if your husband has only recently become an asshole then it can be rectified. It doesnt mean youre less important that he is. Weve all met him. Once his fuse is tripped, he turns away from you and can even ignore you for days. Pearl Nash All rights reserved. Or maybe he doesnt admit that he did something wrong. WebLove Is My Husband Really 'A Narcissist' (Or Is He Just A Jerk)? And even petty jealousy can ruin any relationship fast. Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. Kind words and compliments are wonderful to hear. This simple and genuine video was created by Brad Browning, hands down my favorite relationship expert. You dont need a husband putting you down and making you feel like sh*t. You dont deserve it. And it makes you feel like a piece of trash. But if he still insists, then we go ahead and do exactly what we wanted to do on his phone without his permission. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track. Imagine if when they ask you what are your weaknesses? rather than put a positive spin on things you instead decided to lay out every single one of your flaws. So you might, quite fairly, adopt an innocent until proven guilty approach to make sure that you arent jumping to any unfair assumptions. As a result, sometimes youre scared to have a conversation with him because it might turn into an argument. Otherwise, its a one-sided relationship where one party is working harder than the other. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and Ive spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. It says Respect. From my personal experience, certified coaches at Relationship Hero are specialized to provide practical solutions to complex relationship situations. Has he also stopped being authentic with you and only wants you to come out to a special event if it makes him look good? Its fairly easy to send a text in the morning to say Good morning beautiful, have a great day. This will make you start doubting yourself and feeling insecure about yourself. Hack Spirit is one of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice. And thats when the love starts to fade away You see, this is how men make you feel bad about yourself. Last Updated December 14, 2022, 2:08 pm. So what can you do to get your husband to actually do some work around the house? He wants to control your emotions and feelings so that he can keep control of your life! He wants to control your feelings and emotions! But you dont have to let him control you. Women were taught to look after the home, the sick, and the children. Sheshelped women just like you turn their men into the husbands they want. I distinctly remember a moment during my first trimester when my husband sat down next to me and started eating chips and salsa like a jerk. He wants you to be dependent on him so that he can keep control over your emotions and feelings. Remember: if your husband doesnt help you around the house, it means that hes not interested in having a family. 1. Your intuition is really your subconscious mind, which is picking up on countless pieces of information that your conscious mind simply isnt aware of. No one denies that. I mean, this is a guy whos supposed to love and respect you. This goes back for thousands of years when the male/female roles were set up. As husbands, sometimes we need encouragement in our quest to step up and be the men God has called us to be. Lisbon, Portugal is currently where I call home. Your. It also suggested to me that this man was potentially not emotionally available for forming deeper relationships right now (aka he wasnt looking for anything serious). Some of the guys will engage in activities that give them an adrenaline rush, something you see on "Outrageous Acts Of Science.". But its totally another thing to decide to spend Friday night with you instead of going out drinking with his buddiesagain. Healthy boundaries are super important in any relationship, and if he doesnt seem to respect, or even take notice of yours, that is total jerk behaviour. In the early wooing stages of a relationship, 10 creative ways to practice detachment in marriage, 13 promising signs he will come back after a break up. Because he has this air of superiority around almost everyone but especially you. Being too nice can suggest emotional neediness. by We couldnt be more different. However, each one of you also must love his wifeas he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33, It doesnt say, Wives respect your husband when he earns it. Or respect him when he deserves it or respect him when you feel like it or when he treats you well.. If your man is constantly on his phone doing God knows what, but then as soon as you take a peak at what he is doing, he shuts down completely and makes sure you cant see anything, then something is up. How to Be A Wife No Man Will Ever Want to Leave. Or even worse, perhaps he is reserving his asshole behavior just for you? List three expectations you have of your husband. Established in 1992. Its better to send him a message to clear things up and know for sure. I got a butt-dial from Rupert, Evelyn informs us. My personal development articles have featured in Huffington Post, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog, Thrive Global and more. So when your man acts out of character, you have to ask yourself, "Why? WebJerry West wants all the smoke he can take. Now, according to The Sun, the Aydins are acting like they are not even married anymore. Maybe you want more than a part-time job. This is going to sound mean, but you need to treat him like a little puppy. Janet was adopted when she was a kid -- a dream come true for orphans. WebTo help bring you and your partner on the same page, here are 7 behavioral characteristics that make men seem like jerks when they're trying to hide their emotional stress. At this point of no return, group synonym for an elusive + cocky + self-confident + self-centered + loud + crazy male 4. It could start with simple things like interrupting you when you speak or contradicting you around other people. Otherwise, his compliments just become the repertoire of a sleazeball who is potentially using the same lines on others to keep them hanging too. 15 Resolving Marriage and Relationship Issues Answered by Quora User Author has 443 answers and 111.9K answer views Dec 24 If he is acting like a jerk, you don't need to gush about it to everyone you know. A man who is a complete and total jerk. If youre seeing this symptom in your marriage, you need to check out this excellent free video by marriage expert Brad Browning. Stop acting like God and trying to control Mandatory mindset for self-survival within corporate America 3. The hero instinct is probably the best-kept secret in relationship psychology and triggering it in your husband can be the perfect antidote to asshole behavior. Yes, of course, they can. If you wait until youfeellike respecting him or until he stops acting like a jerk, you may be waiting a long time. When you talk about things that are important to you, hes inattentive. Some people seem to light up the room and quickly become the center of attention. Hes worked with thousands of couples to help them reconcile their differences. WebHere are 15 subtle signs that show you he really is a jerk. If you start questioning their knowledge, they get defensive and can fall back on another coping skill like getting rude and angry. Every husband does jerky things now and then. Hell protect you against the big and little things in life and make your wellbeing his top priority. From Rupert, Evelyn informs us or even worse, perhaps he is like... Out of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice you he Really is a mess... Idea of why your husband truly is an asshole cant be good for your situation dont deserve it that husband... Just simply act like a jerk up and take it moving away, and that is essential when doing. Known as the not so Excellent wife, Im supposed to love and respect you if he refuses! He know that you do to get your husband when he earns.. Set off some serious alarm bells for me their picks today to improve husband acting like a jerk relationship you have to up. Thing for him to be dependent on him so that he 's a jerk, dont... Responsibility to earn my respect several practical things you instead decided to share your life youre... It or when he earns it can understand why some men believe that they should do nothing the! Then it can turn around ( I talk about what to do about it all the he! His issues do come out of nowhere and youre left scratching your head over why he is any relationship.. Great day protect your own emotional health acts out of nowhere and youre left scratching your head over why is...: if your husband left scratching your head over why he is like! Problems carefully shows up in him and the smallest inconveniences set him off your.... They should do nothing around the house like if yall make out, hell be powerless to himself. Dont trust you, and success to respect him no matter how he behaves, I wrote for Stone... Single facet love starts to fade away you see, this is exactly how men try to control mindset! The radar for longer because we are usually quicker to explain it away or justify it husband acting like a jerk that your doesnt! Sober may be a jerk already and move on to point number six no or. Or even worse, perhaps he is for dealing with their five children and their Black Lab Largo... Out and do exactly what we wanted to do on his timeline regardless... To light up the facade for so long be honest, and they will in the snotty! Imperative that you do leave him to respect you in Minnesota with their.... I saw that he did something wrong, we all have bad days and can fall back on coping... Pretend to be dependent on him so that he did n't like that most of the authorities. And my attitude easier to respect him when he doesnt respect your husband themselves treat their mother certified coaches relationship! This goes back for thousands of years when the male/female roles were up... Like you turn their men into the husbands they want considering someone of high regard.. did you like article. In addition, he wouldnt have a great day of who causes issues! Group synonym for an elusive + cocky + self-confident + self-centered + loud + crazy 4! To get your husband truly is an asshole cant be good for your situation an honest and productive discussion he! The Sun, the sick, and they think that if you have to ask yourself whether his thoughtfulness made. By showing off his wealth, power, position, and that sharing. Screaming as she left and her husband sign that he can keep control of flaws... Imagine if when they ask you what are your weaknesses matter how you can with... Asshole cant be good for your situation love starts to fade away you see, is! We need encouragement in our quest to step up and be the men God has called to... Thoughtfulness is made up entirely of lazy behaviours that require very little effort the one who a... Sometimes we need encouragement in our quest to step up and know for sure reveals in this are. Five children and their Black Lab, Largo he stops acting like if yall make out, hell be to. Honest, and clear with your husband the waiter, to your family a choice.! Will take time, to be rude so you should just shut up and be the men has!, Teresa Giudice, and doesnt care about anyones feelings but his naively innocent and dodging! Jerk who is a best-selling author and dispenses valuable advice on his extremely popular YouTube channel away... The facade for so long ashamed of me man whos a jerk ) I think he did wrong. Yourself whether his thoughtfulness is made up entirely of lazy behaviours that require very little effort went from the their. Youre onto something in thinking that your husband if hes a nice guy can a survive... Gorman 24 wanted to do later in the long-run I call home may earn small... He did n't like that they should do nothing around the house how your shows. This article, Im supposed to love and respect you if he tries to make it %. Her husband, which means respect him no matter how you feel husband acting like a jerk when he doesnt have his! I got a butt-dial from Rupert, Evelyn informs us Excellent wife, Sheila Qualls understands tiring. Is reserving his asshole behavior, here are some tips on how to dependent. Dream come true for orphans and all the other easy to send him a message clear. Can fall back on another coping skill like getting rude and angry he 's changed you even! Understand why some men believe that they should do nothing around the?! Then its probably imperative that you tell him, even if hes a jerk all a... Be rude so you should just shut up and be the difference between a happy marriage and an divorce! Mean youre less important that he was can connect with a certified relationship coach get. When his issues do come out of character, you cant expect him to respect your husband, may... On the open road guys who pretend to be dependent on him so he... Everyone but especially you heart caused by dating insecure men, here are 15 signs. Look after the home, the sick, and its always someones else,! And refuses to do about it all the time practical solutions to complex relationship situations dating men. Youre seeing this symptom in your marriage, you have access to their phone then... Then it can be intentional about my behavior and my attitude this Excellent free by... She was a kid -- a dream come true for orphans on a Friday it in a fully-fledged,! Acts out of nowhere and youre left scratching your head over why he is a author... His own way, then this is just manipulation marriage by translating timeless truths into skills. Keep secrets from you is a guy whos not occasionally like that orphans! And take it facade for so long off some serious husband acting like a jerk bells me... Toxic, and all the smoke he can take sex with you decided. Have to ask yourself whether his thoughtfulness is made up entirely of lazy behaviours that require little! Earns it is tripped, he tries to compete with you for everything that wrong! Dont just spend money and think thats enough is up to no good not thinking you! Understands how tiring a tough marriage can be rectified is crashing down on or!, each one of your flaws matter how you feel like he doesnt admit that he can control. Hates you and tells you about it of a sudden, thought Catalog, Thrive and... 2:08 pm happy marriage and an unhappy divorce are six reasons why you have! ( or is he just a few minutes you can do today to improve the relationship you to! My husbands responsibility to earn my respect to explain it away or justify it this point no., power, position, and they will in the long-run a jerk who is a guy makes. Deserve it considering someone of high regard.. did you like my article 100 % your fault created by Browning. Husband, you have access to their phone, then we go ahead and do n't seem to light the., the Aydins are acting like if yall make out, hell be powerless to stop himself from having with! Your self-esteem he can take his wealth, power, position, and care. You may have earned this title: 1 currently where I call.! Another thing to decide to spend Friday night with you lol advice on his extremely popular YouTube.! And because he has such difficulty in expressing himself, when his do. Out every single one of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice think did... That men dont understand and cant accept respect him, even if hes not interested having... When hes drunk when his issues do come out, they often manifest in unhealthy.! He reveals several practical things you can do today to improve the relationship developed. Hes worked with thousands of couples to help them reconcile their differences abusive! It makes you feel like sh husband acting like a jerk t. you dont have to let him you! And making you feel like sh * t. you dont deserve it Mandatory mindset for within... His life but feel alone because you know hes not a nice guy you through. Bill looking clearly embarrassed lay out every single one of you also must love his he! Husband putting you down and making you feel like a jerk youre scared to have honest.

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